but in real life losing has big consequences. i've been zooming life thru smoothly, i recall someone saying dis before, someone frm ncc. cant rmb who. dat i've nvr faced big setbacks before. its pretty much true. i've owaes gotten pretty much wad i set my eyes on. probably i dun set my eyes on difficult or impossible stuff. nt a dreamer lyk..

i downa go VJC. i just wna have a decent sch n stuff. TP's fine for me alr.

i dowan de hottest girl in singapore or school. someone who loves mi n fits is enuff.

i dun hafta buy de most expensive stuff, lyk a prada wallet (oops i have one). a billabong is enuff? LOL. k dat dun reali applies.

i dun hafta have de number 1 family, i just make do with wad i have now. which isn't much to brag abt but im fine with it.

maybe dats why life's been good n i move my chess pieces fast without having to tink. so now im stuck... i dno wad move to make. im tinkin over n over. lyk an old man who plays chinese chess (literally) at de coffee shop, who takes forever to make a move. i tink im worse. each time i decide to move sth, i pull my hand back n tinks again. im stuck.

nvr have i been in dis situation. a strong feeling, my first major setback in life? well i probably have big setbacks, but not 1 major enuff for me to remember. i do make wrong moves last time but nt big enuff to regret n mourn over it till now. ok yes i do have 1 or 2, but dats nt de point.

yea i dno wad to move... cornered. its lyk de opponent has 2 pao, 2 ma n 2 che, while i only left with 2 che without any pao n ma. not a huge disadvantage, i can still turn it arnd, but its gna take quite alota effort. im bottling things up big time. been bottling things up for life. im nt de kind who will just empty de stuff out to anyone, sorry. im nt de kind. de stuff i tell u may seem personal to me but its actly nt.

dere are 1 or 2 or 3, whom i probably can n wish to bottle out to, but... i do not wish to further elaborate. dowana spill de beans.

either way, im in a pinch. go ahead n just pinch mi. sometimes it'll be gd if my lungs were to burst now... den i can just lie in hospital de whole day n nt do anything. literally nt do anything. just lie dere... n feel de pain. dis is a reali gd time.

ps... im nt emo =.=. i just dno wad to do. confused is nt emo. haha.

omg leh, cant rmb who sent mi dis, but...de fat person is so like tingting. LOL. HAHAHAHAHA.